I'm a teacher...I've worked with kids of various ages in various situations...from family to friends to students at school or church...I know how to handle them and what to watch for. One the unspoken laws of my job is to watch for signs of abuse. I'm lucky that none of the students that I've ever had had shown signs of abuse, but I have heard stories and seen pictures. One of the images in my head is that kids who have dislocation injuries in their arms or legs are most likely children of abuse. I thought that these kinds of injuries were reserved for abusive parents who grabbed onto their children by their limbs and yanked and pulled on them in hurtful ways. On Monday morning, I learned the truth to this myth.
Injuries like these are more common then most of us know. Injuries like these are most often caused by parents who are loving and caring and who would NEVER intend on hurting their children. In fact, they are mostly caused by parents who are playing with their children, swinging them in circles by their arms, picking them up by only their forearms, and other similiar cases. These things are innocent! Haven't we all played with a child like this?
On Monday morning, I was holding Malachi's hand attempting to lead him and his siblings out of the preschool room at church. They were going to the nursery so I could teach VBS. Malachi didn't want to leave and so he threw a typical toddler fit dropping himself to the floor. The force of me holding his hand and his body weight dropping to the floor was enough to cause a dislocation of his right elbow. We took him to the ER where they were able to pop it back into place, unfortunate for us, he was one of the very rare cases when the bone doesn't stay put. His elbow was set 4 times, 3 of which resulted in dislocation again. It was very painful for him and agonizing for me as his mom.
The image that I had in my head, caused me to believe that I would be accused of abusing my child, but in fact the ER staff explained that this was so very common and they've seen too many cases of it to count.
Malachi is doing well today and is using his arm nearly as normal. We will have to watch him carefully for a few days, but fortunately it wasn't anything more serious. Fortunate because dislocated elbows or 'nursemaid elbow' as its sometimes called, heals pretty quickly. Once set in place, it usually only takes 10-15 minutes before the child will begin using it. It does not require a cast, surgery, stitches, or any other procedure. They attempted to get him to wear a sling, but he wouldn't have it. Malachi's elbow will heal long before my guilt. My guilt for hurting my child, even though I didn't intentionally do it. People will say it's not my fault as he was just throwing a normal toddler fit, but I blame myself. I would never hurt my child intentionally and it eats at me knowing the pain that he went through. I'm heartbroken...
I only write to all of you in the hopes that it will be a wake up call to each of you. I hope that you'll take Malachi's story and tell your friends and family. And the next time you or someone you know are playing with your child or leading them hand-in-hand to remember my son and the pain he endured. DO NOT swing your children by their arms, wrists, or hands. Do not lift them up by only their arms, wrists, or hands. When they throw those little dropping fits, do not hold onto their arms, wrists, or hands. Be very careful of their precious little limbs, because this type of injury is more common than we know. Who knew that something as innocent as holding your child's hand could result in this...
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